Ah, Australia. Land of the endless barbie, venomous everything, and a government that treats its economy like a fragile joey in a pouch – overprotected, underfed, and hopping nowhere fast. We've got beaches that could make a Pom weep with envy, resources that could power half the planet, and a population that's mostly sensible folk who'd rather crack a cold one than fill out another form. Yet here we are, in 2026, with GDP growth wheezing along like a ute with a flat tyre, housing prices through the stratosphere, and energy bills that make you wonder if we're mining coal or just burning cash.

Inspired by those clever chaps at the Adam Smith Institute – you know, the ones who penned The Growth Agenda for the UK, a blueprint to unshackle their economy from the chains of red tape and tax madness – it's high time we Aussies cooked up our own version. Not some half-arsed tweak, mind you, but a proper libertarian feast: deregulation, tax cuts, and a swift kick to the nanny state. The Poms reckon their plan could add 10-20% to GDP, making every household £6,800 richer. Translate that to our sunburnt shores, and we're talking billions in extra dosh, lower living costs, and enough surplus to fund a few more cricket victories over the old enemy. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here's the Australian Growth Agenda, served with a side of sarcasm, because if we can't laugh at our pollies' follies, what's the point?

1. Planning Laws: Stop the NIMBY Nonsense and Build, Baby, Build (+7% GDP Boost, Give or Take)

Picture this: Sydney's skyline, choked by councils more interested in preserving some bloke's view of a gum tree than letting folks build homes. Our planning system, a bastard child of the UK's Town and Country Planning Act, is a bureaucratic black hole where dreams of affordable housing go to die. The Adam Smith Institute pegs this as the UK's top growth killer, and blimey if it isn't ours too. Solution? Scrap the lot and replace it with a "consent-and-compensate" model. If your new apartment block shades old mate's vegie patch, pay him fair dinkum compo and get on with it. Ditch the biodiversity net gain rules – we're not saving every bloody bandicoot at the expense of rooftops – and set up Urban Development Corporations in hotspots like Sydney's west, Melbourne's fringes, and Brisbane's burbs. No more nutrient neutrality claptrap or endless appeals. Result? Housing supply surges, prices plummet, and young Aussies can afford a place without selling a kidney. GDP uplift: a whopping 7%, because nothing juices the economy like construction cranes and happy homeowners.

2. Energy: From Blackouts to Black Gold – Unleash the Power (+4.75% GDP)

Our energy policy? A joke without a punchline. We're sitting on mountains of coal and gas, yet we're paying through the nose for electricity because pollies decided to virtue-signal with subsidies for wind farms that conk out when the breeze takes a sickie. Echoing the Smithies, end the handouts to renewables – let the market decide if wind's worth it. Introduce nodal pricing so power costs reflect where it's generated, not some averaged-out fairy tale. Restart fracking in the outback (safely, mind), lift bans on new North Sea-style gas licenses off our coasts, and tell the regulators to sod off with their "as low as reasonably practicable" safety overkill on nuclear. If France can run nukes without glowing in the dark, so can we. Abolish carbon price supports that just inflate bills. Benefits? Cheaper power for factories, homes, and that air con during a scorcher. We'll export more energy, balance the books, and add 4.75% to GDP. No more blackouts – unless it's from celebrating the savings.

3. Taxation: Less Grab, More Growth (+1.75% GDP)

Taxes in Australia are like mozzies at a barbie – everywhere and sucking the life out of you. Stamp duty on homes? A tax on moving, turning us into a nation of hoarders. Council rates and business taxes? Distortions that make entrepreneurs weep. The Adam Smith mob suggests ditching them for a simple land value tax: proportional, exempting low-value rural plots and letting pensioners defer via reverse mortgages. Jack up capital allowances so businesses can write off investments in buildings pronto, slash corporation tax to 19% (we're already close, but let's go lower), and fix those idiotic cliffs like the $100k threshold that punishes ambition. Broaden the GST base – no more exemptions for sacred cows – and simplify the code so even a pollie could understand it. Outcome? More investment, less evasion, and 1.75% extra GDP. Households keep more cash for the important things, like meat pies and footy tickets.

4. Financial Services: Loosen the Leash on Lenders (+1.31% GDP)

Post-GFC, we clamped down on banks like a crocodile on a tourist's leg. Result: credit's tighter than a hipster's jeans, and small businesses starve. Take a leaf from the Institute: ease those capital requirements, cut the red tape on loans, and trim anti-money laundering rules that cost billions in pointless paperwork. We're not talking Wild West banking – just enough flex to lower borrowing costs by a point or two. GDP kick: 1.31%, because when money flows freely, innovation follows. Think startups in Silicon Sydney, not just mining magnates.

5. Labour Market: Fire at Will (Sort Of) (+0.94% GDP)

Our Fair Work Act is a well-meaning monster, making it harder to sack a dud than to win the Ashes in England. Go partial at-will like Canada: notice periods, sure, but no endless tribunals. Tighten equal pay laws to actual discrimination, not feel-good fluff, and freeze the minimum wage nominally – inflation will handle the rest. Benefits? Flexible workforce, more jobs, less union strangleholds. Add 0.94% to GDP, and watch unemployment drop like a bad habit.

6. Trade: Unilateral Freebies for All (+0.79% GDP)

^{We're protectionist prudes in a global orgy. Tariffs} and non-tariff barriers? Chuck 'em. Adopt unilateral free trade: import cheap stuff from everywhere, force our industries to compete or innovate. Mutual recognition deals (or just ours) to slash paperwork. GDP gain: 0.79%, plus cheaper imports meaning more cash in your wallet for that overseas holiday.

7. Aviation: More Runways, Less Waiting (+0.75% GDP)

Sydney Airport's a bottleneck worse than the Harbour Bridge at rush hour. Approve expansions at major hubs, auction slots market-style. No more government picking winners. Boost: 0.75% GDP from tourism, trade, and fewer cancelled flights cursing Qantas.

8. Digital Markets: Ditch the Data Drama (+0.40% GDP)

Our privacy laws, aping GDPR, are a straitjacket on tech. Repeal and replace with light-touch rules that let consumers opt in or out. Unleash AI and data firms. Small fry, but 0.40% GDP from innovation? Worth it.

And the Rest: Industrial Planning, Oil/Gas Revival, Etc. (Another 2-3% GDP)

Tack on easing industrial approvals (+0.95%), matching global energy prices (+4.25% overlap), and reviving fossil fuels to Norwegian levels (+0.50%). Total? A 10-20% GDP surge, per the Smith Institute's math adapted Down Under. That's $400-800 billion extra by the mid-2030s, enough to fix roads, fund healthcare without hikes, and maybe even pay off some debt.

In the end, mates, this Growth Agenda isn't rocket science – it's just getting government out of the way. As Adam Smith might say (if he were an Aussie), "The wealth of nations comes from free blokes trading freely, not from pollies playing God." Implement this, and Australia becomes the envy of the world: prosperous, productive, and properly pissed off only at the weather. Libertas, over to you – let's make it happen before another election cycle buggers it up.